Sham
by msjgatsby
Summary: Marriage takes work. PIKE fic
1. The Wedding

Author's Note: Not very well developed plot bunny. I have a couple more chapters half written I hope to post before the finale tomorrow that explain a little better. PIKE fluff, because let's face it, there has been so little of it this season.

* * *

He could look anywhere except her face. Instead his eyes drift down. She's wearing a simple white dress. The contrast to her tan skin made her glow like an angel. He always loved her in white. Too many times that pure white had been stained with red because of him. He bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes the iron. He won't let that happen again.

He's always going to feel protective of her, whether she wants him to or not. After years of fighting him, this one time she's actually letting him protect her, or at least that's what he tells himself he's doing.

This is wrong. He feels so guilty. He'd won. This is what he'd been chasing, wanting, for so long, but not like this. This is a hollow victory, because he doesn't deserve this. He cheated. He's worse than Briggs with the way he manipulated her to get her here. He'd told her it was the only way. He told himself that too, but he knows it's a lie. He just didn't want to see another way.

He feels her hand squeeze his, and he looks up to see her giving him a look that says he should pay attention. He looks over at the expectant look on the face of the judge.

Mike looks back and forth between the judge and Paige and knows this is it. His last chance to stop this craziness he put into motion and take a different path. The path they're on can only lead to disaster. Mike clears his throat to voice his objections but instead finds himself repeating back the words of the judge.

"I, Michael, take you, Paige, to be my wife." Mike's voice shakes as he says the words aloud, repeating the judge's words, but not really hearing them.

"With this ring, I offer you my love." He slides the slender white gold band onto her finger. There is no engagement ring it's joining. They didn't plan this. Not really.

"I offer you my strength." He stares at how foreign it looks there on her slim finger, like a silk ribbon on a wild horse.

"I offer you my weaknesses." Mike murmurs the words as he stares at their hands linked together. Their hands had always fit together so well, but he feels farther away from her than ever.

"I offer you my support." Her hands are cold in his, and it's the only outward sign that she's terrified.

Her eyes are staring at him, he can feel their weight on his skin. He forces himself to look up and he sees her putting on a brave face. He loves her for that. For so many things. The most he can offer her is a small half smile, like everything will be ok, even though it won't. The memory of seeing her at Sulla's the first time that bag was pulled off his head flashes through his mind for some reason. Seeing her there scared. Wanting to protect her, but being unable to truly show her how he feels.

"I offer you my loyalty." Mike almost chokes on the word, because what he's doing here today isn't loyal. It's selfishness parading as loyalty.

"I pledge my love and life to you today and forever." Mike finishes the words quickly, dropping both her hands once he's done.

She then reaches out and accepts the ring that will go on his finger, from the judge, and takes his hand again. Mike braces himself to get through it. This is so much more awkward and worse than he expected. She looks like a scared trapped animal. He always knew he would cry on his wedding day, but he thought they would be tears of joy, not of regret because he felt like he was tricking his bride into a coerced union.

He stares over her shoulder at the wall for most of her vows, barely hearing them. When she finally slips the ring on his finger they both turn to look expectantly at the judge who is staring at them both confused. There is obviously a different vibe in the small county court room than normal during these ceremonies. Mike tries to force a confident smile. Tries to act like he's proud of this.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The judge says, like he's half expecting the two to flee the courthouse without completing the ceremony.

 _You may kiss the bride._ Mike had completely forgotten about this part. Somehow in all his considerations of how they would pull off this marriage, the kissing aspect had completely slipped his mind. He turns to her, wanting to mouth 'I'm sorry', but she's already closed her eyes and is leaning in close. Mike takes a deep breath and stiffly presses his lips to Paige's for the first time since they broke up almost a year ago.

He means for it to be quick and perfunctory but as his lips brush hers, everything comes rushing back at once. Every memory, every feeling he's ever had for her. He can taste her, smell her, hear her, feel her beneath him. He didn't realize until just this moment how much he's forgotten. Because he thought he remembered what kissing her was like, but it was a pale memory compared to the reality of how soft her lips are against his.

His lips linger longer than he planned as they softly press chastely against hers. She kisses him back just as gently, one of her hands coming up to brush gently against the back of his neck, pulling him in closer, just for a second. It brings him back to their very first kiss, and he pulls her even closer, the world slipping away until theirs nothing but the two of them and every kiss they've ever shared.

After forever, or just a second, she pulls away gently, her hand remaining on the back of his neck. He stares down into her eyes with confusion, wondering if she felt half of what he did in that moment. Wondering if they are too close to pull this off. Wondering how, after all this time she still effects him so. He begins to tell himself it was just because it was the first kiss that caught him off guard. If he were to do it again, it couldn't be nearly so potent. He licks his lips and leans back in to test that theory, but the cough from the judge shatters the moment.

"Ok. That will be a $40 filing fee you can give to the clerk at the counter along with these papers." The judge says, breaking the strange moment. Paige shyly looks to the ground, and Mike takes the papers that are shoved into his hand. "Congratulations."


	2. The Wedding Night

The Wedding Night

The car ride back from the court house is silent. Paige doesn't even criticize his driving. He steals a few glances over at her but she's staring out the open window, her hair blowing in the breeze, and she's fiddling with the foreign gold band that's taken up residence on her ring finger.

"So what are we going to tell the others?" Paige finally asks.

"The truth. We got married." Mike says staring over the wheel.

"Yeah, but why?" Paige asks.

"Because we love each other." Mike says stiffly but the words sound wrong even to him. It's partially true at least. Mike married her because he loves her. He suspects Paige's reasons for agreeing to marry him are not because she loves him. Not that he can fault her for that.

"Yes, but why now? Why so quickly? Why didn't we invite them?" Paige presses forward with the questions her roommates would surly ask.

"They know we've dated before and kept it a secret." Mike shrugs.

"The worst secret in the world." Paige rolls her eyes, "Apparently everyone knew."

Mike can't help fully hide the grin at her words. He would always secretly be proud of that fling they'd had. The fact that everyone knew they slept together kept him from needing to crow it from the rooftops.

"So maybe it isn't quick. We can just say we started dating again a while ago, after my drug recovery, but didn't want to tell anyone until we knew it's serious." Mike says evenly, keeping his eyes on the road.

"This is definitely serious." Paige says staring down at her hand.

"We'll make it work." Mike says, with more confidence than he feels.

"Why didn't we invite anyone?"

"Because you're impulsive and we were at the courthouse I was afraid if we waited for the others to show up you'd change your mind, and I just wanted to get you down the aisle." Mike says.

"Wow... That actually sounds kind of plausible." Paige says, surprised with how in line with their personalities that possibility was.

"I know." Mike says nervously, not wanting to think too much about how this is all going to work. He's going to need to touch her. Every day they're going to have to act like a married couple, and he's not sure his feelings for her will be able to handle the fact that none of it's real. "We're here."

Mike runs his hand over his neck nervously as they walk back into Graceland together. Just with them arriving home seems awkward.

"Think anybody's home?" Paige asks him.

"I saw Brigg's car out there." Mike says looking around the empty living room. Paige heads straight to the kitchen, grabs a bottle of vodka from the freezer and tips her head back.

"Woah." Mike rushes forward to take it from her, but she gets a solid four chugs in before he gets it. "Easy there."

"Go ahead." She says gesturing to the bottle.

"No thanks, I'm good." Mike says a little offended that she needs this much booze to deal with what they've just done.

"If you want to do this sober that's fine. I just need to take the edge off." Paige says wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and reaching for the bottle again.

"Do what?" Mike asks suspiciously, holding the bottle away from her.

"We need to consummate this thing." Paige says, as she gestures back and forth between them.

Mike stares at her wide eyed for a moment before taking a swig of the bottle himself. He hadn't thought about that.

"We don't… We can just say we did." Mike stutters out finally. She doesn't have to sleep with him. No one will know whether or not they actually do sleep together.

"The whole point of this is so neither of us have to lie under oath." Paige says. "Come on. It's not like we haven't done this before."

Mike shuts his eyes in frustration at Paige's logic when it comes to sex. He can't help but hear the phrase that broke them up the first time, _you've done it before you can do it again._

"Where do you want to do this? My room or yours or I could get us a hotel?" Mike finally asks nervously. She's going to tell him she's joking at any moment now she'll realize why this is such a bad idea and back down.

"Kitchen should work." Paige shrugs.

"The kitchen?!" Mike almost spits out the vodka.

"Yeah, I mean we want people to know we did it right? The kitchen makes the most sense…" Paige shrugs looking around like it's no big deal.

"I'M NOT GOING TO-" Mike begins to yell, wanting to shake some sense into her, but regains control of his temper quick enough to shut his mouth and try to calm down. Mike realizes she is trying to make this as unintimate as possible, he shouldn't be making this harder on her. Not wanting to have to explain to her why he didn't want to spend their first time together as a married couple (real or not) like a cheap porn movie peep show in the very public kitchen is not a conversation he wants to have right now. Or ever. He really shouldn't have to explain that. She should know better. Mike tries to control his temper and instead says in a forced voice, "We don't have to do this right now."

"Look it has to happen, so we may as well get it over with." Paige replies, seemingly uncaring of how close Mike is to losing his shit.

"Look it's been a long day. I'm going to go take a shower. Just come to my room later tonight and we'll talk about it then." Mike says as he walks past her, feeling irrationally pissed at her. He needs to calm down. She's not wrong. What did it matter if they did it now or later? It was never going to be real.

* * *

She comes to his room later that night, but they don't talk. He's sitting up reading in his bed when she slips in the door. He sets down his manual on his lap and stares over at her across the room. He should apologize for yelling earlier. Her hands come up and she unbuttons her shirt letting it fall to the floor. She takes a step closer and then slips out of her jeans. With each step she removes a garment of clothing leaving a trail to his bed.

She slips under the covers beside him. She takes the manual from his hand and sets it on the nightstand beside him, her breasts brushing against his bare chest as she reaches over him. He nods, following her lead, and his hands reach under the blankets and come up holding his boxer shorts which he drops to the side of the bed. She lays on her back, pulling him over on top of her as she does so.

He leans down to kiss her, but she turns her head to the side. Mike stares down at her for a moment as he feels a numb ache fill his body from her subtle rejection. It's clear she just wants him to get this over with in the most basic way possible. He feels no pleasure, only guilt as he guides himself inside her. She may be the one who insisted on this, but it still feels wrong. Like he's taking advantage of her in her time of need.

He pauses and takes a deep breath as he adjusts to the feeling of her tight around him. It wasn't how he wanted it, but it had been so long since he'd been with someone. Paige had been the last woman he slept with, and it was over a year ago. Before Sylmar. Remembering that, he suddenly realizes he may not be the last person she's been with. That he never asked, about any of it. He didn't know if she'd been raped in Sylmar, or if she'd willingly found someone outside of it. He'd never asked if she gave in and slept with Toros for the case. He didn't know what emotions sleeping with him might bring up for her. He should stop. This was wrong, they shouldn't do this. They would find another way.

Mike moves to pull out of her, but her hands come to his lower back, and she pulls him back in again, rolling her hips up to meet his. They fall into a familiar, if not somewhat mechanical rhythm and Mike's mind is racing as if disconnected from his body. He buries his head in the crook of her neck, as he bucks his hips against her, his breathing choppy. He should stop. This doesn't feel right. It feels amazing to be joined with her again, but his mind is tortured even as his body reaches for more. It shouldn't be possible to feel this far away from her when he's inside her.

He finds his release quickly, (it had been a year) and he rolls off her, lying beside her in the bed staring up at the ceiling. It didn't escape his attention that she didn't cum. Not that he gave her much time to. She seems as relieved as he is that it's over though, and starts to stand up to leave but he reaches out and touches her arm to stop her.

"Stay." He says, his breath still heaving.

She pauses, considering it, and he continues speaking once he finds his breath, he says in a voice with a bit too much emotion in it, "It's our wedding night. Just stay here tonight."

She just nods, and brings her legs back up under the covers. Mike stands up, and walks to his bathroom, coming back with a damp cloth and a glass of water which he hands to her. She accepts them both, cleans herself up and then rolls over facing away from him as he gets back into bed. A few silent moments pass, and he's almost convinced she's asleep but then she finally speaks.

"I never apologized. I'm sorry Mike. I'm so truly sorry."

Mike closes his eyes and wishes things could be different for them. He was naive to think they could do this. Less than a day in and he wants to give up. He doesn't know how long they will be able to do this. How he can be so close to her yet so far away. This false imitation of what they should have been hurts worse than fighting with her. It's like he's embracing a bed of nails and if he would just let go he could heal, but instead he's pushing them into him even deeper.

Eventually she falls asleep, but Mike stays up for hours, watching her breath in and out and spinning the ring on his finger.


	3. The Proposal

Author's Note: I swear I do have fluffy fun chapters planned for this story at some point. Looking back I realize Mike's a little angsty about the whole thing. This chapter should give a little context for what's happening so far. I just liked the idea of opening with the wedding first. Yay for the Finale Tonight! (Or yesterday depending on how long my Blood Brother's rehearsal goes tonight).

* * *

Paige wakes up from a fitful sleep in a bed that's not hers. She opens her eyes and sees Mike sleeping a foot away on his side. She takes a moment to study his face as he sleeps. His long lashes brush against his cheeks and his mouth is slightly open. Somehow, even asleep, he looks troubled. She resists the urge to reach out and brush his now long hair off of his face. She misses the shorter more boyish hair cut he had before. Or maybe she just misses the youthful innocence of the boy he once was. The cases, the secrets and betrayals seem to have aged Mike more quickly than any of them. Of course he had lost the most. All because of her.

She glances at his bedside clock. Four in the morning. She slips out of bed and walks into his bathroom. She turns on the water in his shower to it's hottest setting until the steam fogs the mirror. She steps into the shower and pushes her wet hair back, letting the water turn her skin pink.

 _Well this is the bright side. The perks of marrying a man with his own shower, no worries of being interrupted._ The showers were her favorite place to think, to recollect herself, but in Graceland you were usually worried about people coming in to brush their teeth or people waiting in line. Here in the small space, she lets the water massage her tense muscles and the steam float through her brain.

She looks down at her hand. She can't believe she's married. She's married to Mike. It seems like such a waste. There were probably hundreds, no thousands of girls out there looking for a husband just like Mike Warren and yet through some strange twist of fate, it was Paige who ended up married to him. He would be such a good husband to some lucky girl, and now he was stuck with Paige.

Paige could forget about all those would be Mrs. Warren's out there, she owed them nothing, but she feels terrible for what Mike's giving up. His picket fence. His possible kids. His loving supportive wife who bakes muffins and ties his tie with a kiss before he leaves for work. He would never be able to have that as long as he was married to Paige, and if anyone deserved it, it was Mike. He's willing to give up his future for her, and Paige had just let him.

She bangs her head against the wall of the shower as she remembers the day this whole thing started.

* * *

Paige had been in her room doing some laundry, so that she could have clean workout clothes for the week. Everything had seemed normal when she heard a soft knock on her open door frame.

"Hi." Paige looks up at Mike's voice, as he hovers in her door frame.

She should have known something was wrong right then.

They were back on speaking terms finally, and he'd even felt comfortable enough to walk into her room normally. She doesn't know where this new nervousness comes from. After the trip to Santa Barbara went so smoothly (well as far as the camaraderie, not so much with the Briggs betraying them with Serin gas and the suicidal drive back to LA) she'd been thinking maybe they might be able to be more than coworkers and maybe even handle being friends again. Last night after they arrested Martun, for a brief moment, if she didn't know better, she could have sworn Mike was even being flirty.

Flirty was probably too much to hope for, but they have been better around each other recently. Timid, but better. Having him around soothes her, and she likes to think she has the same effect on him. There was something strangely freeing about the fact that they've now both seen each other at their absolute worst. Worst than either of them even knew they could get. Yet somehow against all odds, it seemed like their wounds they inflicted on each other were healing. Paige was starting to hope that one day they might be friends again. Truly.

The tone in Mike's voice right now though makes her nervous. Somethings wrong.

"We have a problem." Mike says, cutting straight to the point.

"What's that?" She asks nervously. They could never catch a break.

"Yesterday, you asked what I was going to tell Homeland Security." Mike says evenly, "I thought about it and I need to tell them about Briggs. I just can't cover this up, Paige."

"Ok. It's your call. I support you. I'll back you up." Paige says simply. She was leaving this up to Mike. It was his fight. Time and time again he would tell her something was wrong with Briggs, and he'd always been right even if it took her a while to see it. She had decided she needed to trust him to make the call when it came to Briggs.

"There's a problem though." Mike says nervously, clearly not wanting to say the next part, "I told Briggs I was going to tell them everything. About the Serin, Colby, the torture. He said if I ratted on him he would-"

"Tell them about the oxy." Paige said, guessing where Mike was going with this before he could finish. "That hypocrite. Like he has room to judge you on that after hiding his heroin addiction all these years. And you're clean now! He was the one who knew you had the problem and still had you running cases-"

"It's not that." Mike interrupts her rant. "He can't implicate me with my oxy problem without talking about how he enabled me and helped me hide it. It would hurt him just as much as me. He won't do it."

"So what's the problem then?" Paige asks, relieved that Mike's secret was safe.

Mike steps into her room and shuts the door gently behind him. He walks over close so that he can tell her in a low voice the bad news. Paige's heart races as he sits her down on the bed and sits next to her. This is bad.

"He said, he would tell them what happened with Sid at the hospital, and who told him my location. He's going to tell them you sent Sid Markum to kill me." Mike says gently, trying to make it clear he was just stating the facts and not blaming her.

This information stunned Paige into silence.

She stares at him, processing this new information for a moment as the full weight of the implication in Mike's words washed over her. She'd almost forgotten about that. Not that she ever truly could forget what she'd done, but things with Mike were starting to get back to normal and she thought maybe one day she would truly be able to put it behind her. To forgive herself the way Mike seemed to so easily. Suddenly it was all real again and her mouth feels dry.

That was the worst moment of her life, but she thought at least the damage was done and she could heal, but now Briggs is using that moment to hurt Mike more and try to threaten him into silence. That bastard.

At the same moment, there's something freeing about the idea of having it out in the open. Of facing her punishment. Mike had forgiven her so quickly, that it never truly felt over. It never felt like she had paid for her sin. Now was her chance, and she was scared, but she would do this.

She puts on a brave face for Mike, and says in a soft voice, "Ok then. It had to come out eventually."

"No, it doesn't." Mike argues back harshly, and she's still surprised that after all this time, he would defend her secret so fiercely. A secret she never asked him to keep.

"Yes, it does. I screwed up. I screwed up so badly, and I've never had a chance to make this right. Now I do." Paige feels more right about it as she says it out loud. She can do this.

"No. You've tortured yourself enough. I've forgiven you, it's no one else's damn business. I'm not going to have you sit in a jail cell just because..." Mike argues.

"Mike it's where I deserve to be! I did it. We can both pretend I didn't, and make excuses, but I'm not going to anymore. If Briggs tells them, I won't deny it." Paige insists. He's good to fight for her, but it's not his fight.

"You goddamn will." Mike says firmly, "I'm not going to let him win."

"He's not going to win Mike." Paige places her hand on Mike's arm in a gentle way. She appreciates his loyalty, even if she doesn't deserve it. He needs to let her do this though. "He'll be in jail. That's all that matters. I need to take responsibility for what I've done."

"No. They have no proof. Sid is dead and anything Briggs says is bullshit." Mike says, his mind working rapidly. "The only other people who know anything are you and me. It's not even proven in my medical records it was murder. I had just had surgery, it happens all the time. "

"Mike, I know you want to save me, and I appreciate it. But we're the good guys. We need to start acting like it." Paige insists. Mike stubbornly shakes his head no, rejecting the very idea of it. Paige sighs, and tries to talk some sense into the man who has now fallen silent as he schemes in his head, "Mike, you're not going to let Briggs blackmail you with this. If you give in now, he'll never stop."

"No, I'm not." His mind is churning, "Anything Briggs says is hearsay, and you have the right to remain silent."

"If I remain silent they'll know-" Paige tries to talk sense into him, but he's on a roll. The words are just falling out of his mouth.

"No they won't. Not beyond a reasonable doubt. They will have Briggs's word against your silence, and if he testifies as a witness they'll be able to bring up every dark little secret he has on the stand. You will stand there silent and we'll pin your goddamn medal of valor across your suit if we need to." Mike stands up and starts pacing the floor of her room, speaking quickly.

"There's still you and I won't let you perjure yourself for me." Paige says, trying to sound brave, but she has to admit faced with jail time she's afraid. "No matter how you spin it, I did something horrible Mike. The worst thing I've ever done and if I could take it back I would, in a heartbeat, but I can't and now-"

"What if I couldn't testify?" Mike interrupts.

"You'll have to testify. They'll subpoena you. You'll be held in contempt of court if you don't. It's not like you're going to flee the country, and I'm not going to run." Paige says.

"Well we have to do something!"

"WE don't have to do anything! There is no us in this! It's just me. I got myself into this. I'm not dragging you down with me." Paige insists, "I have to stop hurting you and you have to stop trying to save me."

"I can't do nothing!" Mike yells, trying to make her see reason, "Paige we're talking about the rest of your life here! Do you even know what you're doing?"

"I do." Paige grabs his hand and looks deep in his eyes as she says it. She does know what she's doing. What she should have done from the start, but it's hard to be brave, to let go of everything in her life with him standing here telling her to fight. She needs him to drop this. She needs him to leave, so she can stop acting brave and she can cry and make arrangements. Oh God... what would she tell her parents?

She turns to finish folding her laundry in silence. The shock is starting to wear off though, and she may lose it at any moment. She doesn't want to cry in front of him. She doesn't want him to know how scared she is. Maybe months ago, she wanted her life to be over. She believed she belonged dead in the ground or in jail, but she'd been starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and now, now she just wanted to fold her laundry. In her nice clean room. To go play on the beach with her roommates. To breath the ocean air. She didn't want to be locked in a dark cell with nothing but her regrets, even if that's where she deserved to be.

Mike is still standing in her room by the door, not leaving it. He's staring at her. She knows it. She can feel his eyes burning their way into her skin, but she can't look at him. She knows she'll cry if she looks at him.

"They couldn't make me testify against... my wife."

Paige's jaw dropped.

All thoughts of tears are gone. The shock is back. She stares at him open mouthed. She didn't have a single thing to say. He was insane. This was too much. She couldn't have heard him correctly. He couldn't possibly be suggesting...

"We could get married." Mike says the words quickly now, with them all tripping over each other.

"What?"

"Just until the statutory limitations is up. Then we'll get a quiet divorce, and go on with our lives." Mike insists, beginning to pace again.

"Mike, I can't ask you to do that." Paige says. It's too much.

"You're not asking." Mike reminds her. "Look, if you get tried with even accessory to an attempted murder you're looking at a minimum of twenty years in jail. The statute of limitations is only eight. So, yes, you're married to me for eight years, but you're not in jail. You could still live your life. You'll still do your job. It'll just be one extra undercover assignment. It'll be just like we're under as husband and wife."

"It's eight years Mike. You're gonna meet someone you want to marry and start a life within that time. I can't let you... Just let me go."

"I can't." Mike's eyes are pleading, and take Paige's breath away. She stares at him in shock, he couldn't possibly still have feelings for her. Not after what she did. They were just barely speaking again. No this had to be some form of twisted moral duty. "This could work. Without me or you to testify, it's just Briggs. No one will bring a case with that."

"Mike I have to believe in the law. Justice needs to be served." Paige tells him. She can't just let him marry her so she can stay out of prison. He doesn't know what he'd be giving up. He'd already done so much for her.

"That's bullshit. This isn't justice. This is Briggs being a manipulative bastard because he knows my weak points. He's using you against me." Mike growls.

"Maybe he's right this time though! If he's paying for his sins, why shouldn't I?"

"This isn't about Briggs! It's between you and me. I've forgiven you. You just have to forgive yourself." Mike says as he paces.

"How can I forgive myself? I did an unforgivable thing! I tried to make things right, but I couldn't even get Sid in the end."

"I need you to forgive yourself! I have watched you torture yourself day in and day out since it happened. At some point enough is enough, and throwing you in jail isn't going to solve anything. And you dying so that Sid Markum was convicted of murder wasn't the way to solve it either! After all this time, can't you see that me watching you throw away your life again and again hurts me even more than you giving up mine?" Mike stops pacing to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her.

Paige hears his words, and the fire behind them but she can't understand. How can he care so much? He doesn't know what he's giving up, and she's not worth it. She doesn't deserve his pity, and she certainly doesn't deserve this.

"You don't belong in prison, Paige." Mike insists, before turning to pleading, "Paige, let me save you, just once."

"Mike..." Paige says weakly, but the tears start to trickle down her cheeks. What he's offering is so tempting. It's more than she deserves. It would be so easy to give in.

"You want to atone for your sin? Fine. I get it. But I was the one wronged, so let me decide the verdict. Not some judge. Marry me."

* * *

The water runs cold and shakes Paige out of her reverie. She turns off the water and steps out wrapping herself in a towel.

He deserved so much more than her, but she owed him her life. She really was, against all odds, married to a very good man. She should probably call and tell her mom.


	4. Sunday Morning

Author's Note: Warning! Admittedly this chapter turned out a little sexier than I originally planned. I may move the story up to M. I have some thoughts on the finale... Mainly that they could have had Briggs kill Ari about ten minutes sooner and used that time to develop other characters motivations like Paige, who was all over the place, or finally wrap up her "told Sid Markum Mike's location" bit once and for all (still salty about that season 2 move. It was possibly the stupidest thing in tv writing history). I have other thoughts, but seeing as I have no idea or interest in using tumblr or twitter, they will probably go unheard, and that's for the best.

* * *

Mike rolled over and turned off his phone alarm and accidentally almost knocked over Paige's lamp.

Right. They were sleeping in her room this week.

Now that they've been "married" for a month, certain things are starting to feel more routine. It helps that their current work schedules have kept them apart most of the hours of the day. They really only see each other at night when they collapse into bed, and usually one's already asleep by the time the other gets home.

They'd agreed that they needed to sleep in the same room to keep up appearances. At first they had attempted sneaking back to their own rooms half way through the night, but their roommates schedules were hard to track, and half the time they ended up sleeping through the intended switch anyways. So then they decided just to give that up and spend the full night together, and had come up with a compromise of switching which room they slept in on a schedule.

Mike rights the lamp and looks over his shoulder to see if he accidentally woke her up. She sleepily groans and stretches out, throwing one arm over his chest keeping him in bed. She snuggles up to his side and Mike lays back in bed so as not to disturb her. Most times they were really strict with themselves about not touching when they were in private, keeping to their own separate sides of the bed. It somehow made the touching in public all the more potent for Mike, but he was dealing.

Sometimes he would catch himself pretending what they had was real. Now with her sleepily wrapped around him, it felt real, and Mike let himself have this moment.

"Wh'a'y'doin?" The words are sleepily mumbled together into his side, but Mike grins down at her. She is so not the morning person she pretended to be back when they first started hooking up.

"I'm going for my run. Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep." Mike whispers to her, bringing his hand up to sooth her tangled hair before deciding against it. Things were a little less awkward and they were adjusting, but he still didn't think they were at a point where he should lovingly stroke her hair, unless they were putting on a show for the roommates.

"It's Sunday." Paige groans into his side, pulling him closer, too sleepy to realize this contact was against the self imposed rules, "Even God rested on Sunday."

"Yeah, well as my wife has told me numerous times, I'm not God." Mike teases. They've at least gotten to the point where they can joke about their ridiculous situation. The first few weeks of marriage they were both so afraid they'd made a horrible mistake that they couldn't see the humor in the situation.

"Go back to sleep. You're married now. You're expected to let yourself go… Get fat and lazy…" She grumbles.

Mike looks down at her with a smile. She was adorable like this. With her arm slung over his chest and her head buried into his side. He would happily stay in bed all day if it meant he could hold her, but their agreement keeps them on separate sides of the bed when they're alone. They generally only make small touches in public, though it was sometimes hard to turn it off in private.

Mike settles into Paige's embrace letting himself enjoy the moment until his second alarm goes off. As she dozes against his side, he lets his mind wander.

The roommates had taken it surprisingly well without much question. The first morning when they'd come downstairs together, it took the super observant spies over an hour of Mike and Paige touching and waving their left hands around for anyone to catch on. In the end it had been Johnny who first noticed the rings, which neither of them expected.

Everyone had their own reactions. Briggs had stormed out of the room. Jakes mumbled a halfhearted congratulations with a mouthful of cereal and asked when the baby was due. Charlie had yelled at them for not inviting her and then hugged them both saying how happy she was they finally worked it out and talking about how she was going to make a cake. Johnny insisted it wasn't too late to throw a bachelor party.

Regretfully his second alarm goes off all too soon. Mike picks up Paige's arm and slides out of her embrace sitting up on the bed reaching for his phone.

"Turn it off." Paige groans wrapping her pillow around her head. "It's your day off. Sleep."

"We can't just stay in bed all day." Mike tries to stand but Paige grabs him by the hem of his t-shirt and drags him back down.

"Come on. I gotta get up. You can stay in bed. You always complain I hog the sheets anyways, now they're all yours." Mike sighs.

"But I get cold. You're like a furnace sleeping next to me... Just another hour. Then we'll get up." Paige mutters as she buries her face in her pillow and pulls on his shirt.

"They'll come looking for my dead body if I stay in here too much longer. I'm already late." Mike says as he untangles her uncurls her fingers from his shirt to free himself.

"You can take a morning off. The world will move on without you. No one will even notice." Paige whines as she sits up in bed, her hair sticking every direction.

"Is Levi still in bed?" Johnny's voice floats in from the hall.

Mike throws her a "I-told-you-so" look and motions out toward the hall, miming "y'see?!" at her.

Paige let's her whole body flop back on the bed in frustration, as Mike stands victorious. He reaches onto her nightstand and slips on his pendant and begins to fasten his watch when he hears a soft noise from behind him.

He pauses putting on his watch, and cocks his head to the side, wondering if he just imagined it.

The second time, he hears what is definitely Paige letting out a soft moan.

He turns to see if she's hurt herself, but she's lying on the bed with her arms sprawled out above her head, blankets in a tangle giving him a mischievous smirk.

"Are you ok?" Mike asks, confused as to what she's doing.

"Mmmm… Oh, Mike." She practically purrs in a comically overdone seductive voice.

"Oh." Mike raises an eyebrow as he realizes exactly what she's doing.

"Mike stop it! It's so early!" She squeals with a girlish giggle, "Oh... Someone's definitely an early riser. Good morning soldier!"

"Seriously?" Mike groans, as he realizes this is only going to get worse.

"You want to what? Oh, we can't! I have to oooh... yeah. Mmmmm... That feels good. You want me to do what?" She exclaims, looking at him with a playfully scandalized look on her face and mischievous look in her eyes. Every word she says in a high pitched girlish breathy squeal. "Oh I'm not drunk enough to try that! You dirty boy."

Mike rolls his eyes and crosses his arms glaring down at her, waiting for her to finish her little game. He looks over his shoulder and can see the outline of roommates gathering beyond the stained glass. He should just walk out the door into the hallway and leave her here faking alone. That would teach her.

"Oh Mike." She grins up at him, as she brings the crook of her elbow up to her face and starts making lewd slurping kissing sounds. He brings his hand up to cover his face in embarrassment. They are never going to hear the end of this from the roommates. This is soooo not sexy what she's doing. She stops blowing on her arm and gives him a look over the crook of her arm that tells him something horrible is about to happen

"GOD MIIIIIKE! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! YOU'RE SO… AH! SO GOOD YES! JUST LIKE THAT!" Paige screams out loudly as she begins hitting the bed with her hands. Mike dives forward on the bed and scrambles to cover her mouth with his hand as his face turns bright red.

"Ok, you've made your point. Happy now? I won't be able to show my face out of this room for a week." He whispers in frantic tone, "But you've got to stop screaming like a Banshee. They are going to think I'm killing you in here!"

"Mmmmm? You want to talk dirty to me baby?" She grins up at him when he removes his hand.

"Nope. No I really don't." Mike replies dead pan. He will not sink to her level. Mike would like to actually show his face in the main area again.

"Oh you want me to gag you then? Treat you rough?"

Mike shakes his head back and forth frantically. God No.

"You asked for it." She smacks her leg hard so the crack reverberates through the room. "You've been a naughty boy, Mike."

She smacks her thigh again with another loud thwack. "SO NAUGHTY!"

"Naughty? What are you an English Au Pair in a outdated porno?" Mike asks in a voice quiet enough his roommates outside won't hear over Paige's moans as he sits cross legged beside her on the bed, giving up the idea of being able to stop this show.

"Stop teasing me you NAUGHTY boy." Paige's eyes are laughing as she delivers the ridiculously bad line. "Just do me already!"

"I hope you know, I'm making you go out there first." Mike whispers loudly to her as he gets up off the bed again and stands at the foot of it, arms crossed, watching her performance..

"Oh I'm ready you stallion. Come on ride me baby." Paige says proudly in a voice loud enough that everyone can hear.

"Stallion?" Mike mouths over to her in disbelief.

"Giddy up big boy!" She yells with a grin. She then begins jumping up and down on the bed, making the entire bed shake with the pressure. Mike just shakes his head as he watches her sudden burst of energy. She could have just come on the run with him.

She jumps up and down on the bed a few more times, looking like a small child on Christmas morning, when suddenly she lets herself collapse onto her knees and looks up at him with an innocent expression, and says "Oh, are you done? Don't worry honey. It happens to lots of guys."

Mike's jaw drops in shock that she would play such a dirty card. She's trying to ruin his sexual reputation? Hell no! If she was going to start such rumors, he was going to come off as a freaking God in bed. She grins up at him, trying not to burst into giggles at the look of shock on his face. He recovers quickly though and takes two challenging steps forward climbing onto the bed.

"I'm nowhere near done, baby. Just switching positions. I'm going to ride you so hard you won't be able to sit for a week." Mike declares in a voice loud enough for people to hear next door. He then grabs the headboard and begins to loudly bang it against the wall. Paige dissolves into a fit of giggles as her body bounces up and down as Mike shakes the bed frame like a jackhammer.

The next twenty five minutes the two agents spend making as much noise as possible. They groan, moan, scream and laugh. They jump up and down on the bed, slam into walls, make loud smacking noises ad throw things across the room. They try to call make the other agent blush with ridiculously bad dirty talk. Eventually the two are left in two separate breathless heaps, their sides hurting from laughter. The entire time, neither of them had touched the other.

"Alright... you win." Mike finally concedes. "But now, I really have to go or it's going to be to hot out to even make it a mile."

"You're still going for a run?" Paige asks in surprise. With all the jumping around he'd just done, he must be exhausted by now. Mike had gone above and beyond to try to preserve his sexual reputation in the house with the roommates.

"What can I say? I'm a stallion." Mike says teasingly, his sides still hurting from laughter as he walks out the door.

He walks to his room to grab his shoes, still laughing at the cleared out hallway. As he enters his room and changes into his running shorts, it seems like his body has other ideas. He looks down at the lump in his shorts and over towards his shower. He may as well just skip straight to the shower, unless he wants to go on the most uncomfortable run in history. Sighing, he shucks off his clothes and heads into his bathroom to take care of things.

Paige is all smiles as she makes the bed and grabs her towel. Mike may be going for a run, but that there was her morning workout and she's covered in sweat. She starts to head to the shower when she realizes she forgot her shampoo in Mike's shower last. She skips over to his room, humming to herself. As she walks into his room she thinks she hears water running. Then she hears something else. Mike's voice.

"Paige." She walks forward curiously. She thought he was going for a run, but maybe he turned on the shower for her first knowing she needed one? She was starting to smell.

"Fuck, Paige." She realizes too late her mistake. She sees him through the steam and glass of the shower, one arm against the wall his other hand jerking between his legs. "Mmmm... You feel so good. Paige. Oh god, Paige."

This is nothing like the playful over exaggerated dirty talk they'd been screaming at each other all morning. His voice was low and sensual, his eyes squeezed shut, and it made Paige's stomach flip every time he said her name.

"You want me to be naughty, I'll show you naughty." He mutters under his breath, but Paige hears every word and there is nothing funny about the way Mike is saying it now. "Fuck yes, Paige!"

He arches into his hand and a small gasp escapes Paige's lips. She turns and runs out of the bathroom, as Mike's eyes turn, horrified, over his shoulder.

"Fuck." He mutters realizing he's been caught, as he grabs a towel and wraps it around his hips ready to chase down the hall after her. He doesn't have to though because she's sitting on his bed, her knee bouncing up and down nervously, staring ahead like she's seen a car accident.

"Look. I can explain." Mike insists as he walks towards her, "It's not what it looks like."

"I caught you whacking off in the shower." Paige says matter factly.

"Nope. You're right. That about sums it up." Mike clenches his jaw and stares up at the ceiling in frustration. "It's just… It wasn't because of earlier. I mean it kind of was, but it wasn't about you. I mean, I know I said your name, but it's just... I'm used to sleeping alone, and with our new sleeping arrangements I'm just used to having more private time to take care of things, and I haven't recently so the shower is the only place I can, and I don't want you to think I'm mad about that or expecting anything. It's just with guys, it's different and we need certain, release. Not that I expect you to provide that. I can do that. I just don't have as much time anymore, and the shower is-"

"You really need to stop talking." Paige insists, interrupting his babbling.

"Right…" Mike says, running a hand over his neck nervously wishing he was wearing more clothes.

"Look I get it. It's natural. I should have knocked." Paige says, as Mike blushes furiously though he has no reason to. It's not like she hasn't seen it all before. It's not like they haven't touched each other.

"Right. Ok, I'm going to get dressed and really go on that run now." Mike says turning towards his dresser. They'd been doing so well this morning. It had been fun. Light. Normal. Then this horrible thing happened and now he felt awkward around her again.

"But just so you know, I'm not asking you to stay celibate or anything." Paige keeps talking. Mike stiffens.

"Ok... We can talk about that..." Mike says carefully. They really should talk before they just started up their relationship again. Things had ended so suddenly between them before and if they were going to do this, really do this, they needed to make sure they both were in it for the long haul. Because they were stuck together.

"So if you meet someone, or just need to take someone home one night, just let me know and I'll help cover for you." Paige says.

"Oh. Yeah. Ok. Thanks. I'll do that." Mike responds awkwardly. "Yeah... you too. Showers all yours. I mean, I rinsed it off, so you can... I'm gonna go."

Mike flees the room without even putting his shoes on.

"Run free you Stallion!" Johnny yells after him as he dashes to get out of the house.

"Bite me Johnny!"

"I'll leave that to your wife dude!"


	5. Calendar

Author's Note: Quick chapter.

* * *

Almost a full week after 'the incident' as Mike now refers to it in his head, and he's still blushing whenever he thinks of it. He's not sure why he's so embarrassed about it. She'd seen it all before, hell she'd done it to him before. Still every time he remembered the look on her face, he wanted to punch something.

He'd done a fairly good job of avoiding her, work made that easy, but now it was Saturday and he was just getting home from his run. He had the day off, and he was itching for something to do to keep his mind from running over 'the incident' again and again in his mind. He stared mindlessly at his cereal, his headphones hanging from his shirt, running over it in his head wondering what Paige might be thinking about catching him fantasizing about her. She had to have known he'd been thinking about her right? He'd said her names multiple times. Did that violate some sort of code where you didn't fantasize about your platonic wife? She hadn't said anything further about it to him. She hadn't said much of anything to him. Not that he'd been around to talk to.

"Hey Mikey! You free to help me out on a case tonight?" Johnny's voice is a welcome distraction from the ones in Mike's head.

"What's the case?" Mike asks, glad to have something else to focus on.

"Does it matter workaholic? You free or not?" Johnny chirps before downing Jake's oj straight from the carton and putting it back in the fridge.

"Yeah, I'm free." Mike rolls his eyes at Johnny's description of him, but he's not wrong. It was FBI field work, and Mike needed something to focus his attention on or he was going to drive himself crazy.

"Do you need to check with the missus first?" Johnny asks.

"Haha. Just because we're married doesn't mean she's all of a sudden… wait a minute." Mike trails off as he looks at the calendar on his phone, about to schedule Johnny in.

"What's up?" Johnny asks.

"There's already something on my calendar tonight." Mike stares at his phone confused, trying to remember when he added an event.

"Dude, don't try to get out of this now." Johnny complains, thinking Mike's making shit up to get out of helping him.

"I didn't put this there!" Mike insists, staring down at his phone screen. He would have remembered writing this.

"Maybe you forgot. I mean, I've always thought maybe the dying gave you some brain damage." Johnny shrugs.

"Paige?" Mike calls out as he hears someone coming down the stairs and sees a flash of blonde hair on her way out the door. He thinks about it and follows up calling out to her with a tentative, "Sweetie?"

The word sounds awkward on his tongue, but it should at least alert her they were about to have a marriage conversation in front of Johnny.

"Yes, _honey_?" Paige pops her face into the kitchen, returning the nickname with an overly sweet, almost sarcastic, tone.

"Why does it say 'date night' on my calendar?" Mike asks her holding up his phone.

"We've both been working so much I hardly ever see you, and I read in one of Charlie's magazines that we needed to make sure to schedule us time." She says in another overly sweet tone. Mike wonders if she's been replaced by a stepford wife.

"Yes but how did it get there?" Mike asks, looking down at his phone again, confused. "Did you hack my phone?"

"I put it on our calendar." She says simply.

" _Our_ calendar? Since when do we have a calendar?" Mike looks at his phone and sure enough he can see several events that he did not put there, including some appointments he assumes are not for him, such as Thursday's gynecological visit.

"I linked them. See now your appointments alone are blue, mine are yellow and when we're doing something together it's green." Paige points to the screen over his shoulder, as she comes up behind where he's sitting on the stool.

"You linked our calendars?! How did you do that?" Mike asks as he stares at his phone dumbfounded. These are the sorts of coupley things no one warned him about marriage, and he's finding this surprisingly more intimate than sharing a bed with her every night.

"It's really easy. I'll show you how later. Also I'll show you how to encrypt your password." Paige says, leaning down to kiss him goodbye, which he absentmindedly turns to lightly kiss her on the lips, still staring at his phone.

"Wait! You know my password?" Mike jerks around in his seat.

"I've gotta go." She says leaning in to kiss him goodbye again, and possibly to soothe his agitation.

This kiss is not near as brief. She leans in like she's trying to distract him, bringing her hands up into his hair to hold him in close. The move confuses Mike more, but he sets aside his confusion to let her kiss him deeper, her lips moving against him, her tongue playfully darting between his lips. He brings his arms around her waist as she leans between his legs on the stool.

"Ahem." Johnny clears his throat, "Weren't you going to be late, P?"

"I'll see you later." She says to Mike in a soft breathy voice as she pulls away. Mike stares after her as she walks away, utterly baffled by what her angle is.

"So I take it you're not helping me out tonight..." Johnny says, watching Mike watch Paige walk away.

"Nope. Apparently I have a date." Mike says, staring after her. He was certain she was up to something, he just had no clue what.


	6. Christmas Plans

Author's Note: Admittedly I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this story, it's just so fun to write. Here's another short chapter.

* * *

"You look nice." Mike says in an even voice staring straight ahead at the road as he drives. It was an understatement. She looked incredible. Her blonde hair flowed down her bare shoulders in soft waves and the soft blue dress reminded him of the ocean. He wondered if she knew blue was his favorite color, because he seldom saw her wear it. This dress was definitely new though, and his stomach tightened up wondering if she bought it specifically for their date.

"Thanks." She smiles, sinking back in her seat and stretching her long legs up on the dash of his car. He glances over at her legs distracted momentarily from the road and she smiles at him, "You're not so bad yourself."

"So where are we going?" Mike clears his throat, afraid he'd been caught staring at her legs.

"You'll see once we get there." She says simply, stretching out.

They ride in relative silence for a few minutes. The silence isn't uncomfortable, the radio plays softly in the background and they both are finally able to relax a bit after a long week. Paige hums along, as Mike begins to think about how to broach a potentially sensitive topic.

"So I was thinking…" Mike says cautiously. They're trapped in the car together, and he figures it's as good a time as any to talk to her about it. "Christmas."

"What about it?" Paige asks.

"It was planning to go home and see my mom. Would you want to come? Home with me, I mean." Mike says, kicking himself for sounding more nervous than he intended to.

"Have you told her you got married?" Paige asks curiously.

"Yes, but if you don't want to come I understand. I'll figure something out." Mike answers her quickly, giving her an out. He knew this was a big step. Acting like they were married within Graceland was one thing, but bringing it out into the real world was another.

"Was she surprised?" Paige asks, not seeming at all phased by Mike's nervous mumblings and seeming more genuinely intrigued by the idea that Mike had a real mother out there.

"Not really." Mike says and Paige looks over at him in disbelief. Realizing he needed to further explain, he blushes as he says, "Well she knows who you are. I've mentioned you."

"What did you say about me?" Paige asks, suddenly fascinated by Mike's relationship with his mom and what she might know about Paige.

"Nothing really. You just would come up in conversation every now and then. She knows I have roommates." Mike tries to play it off like it's not a big deal.

"You might as well tell me now, or I'll find out at Christmas from your mom." Paige says with a teasing glint in her eye.

"It's nothing! I just said you were my roommate and you were kind of cool." Mike says, running his hand through his hair in a way that told Paige there was more he wasn't saying.

"And…" She prompted.

"And I might have told her back when we first started dating." Mike admits in a hurry.

"Dating? Is that what we were doing?" Paige asks mockingly.

"She's my mom. I wasn't going to share _all_ the details." Mike rolls his eyes and gives Paige a look of exasperation.

Maybe dating wasn't the right word for what they had. They never actually went on a date, but Mike had always assumed they would get there before the breakup blindsided him. Plus, he couldn't tell his mom he was being vigorously used by his roommate as a secret boy toy whenever Paige wanted sex.

"Awww, you told your mom about me." Paige teases him with a laugh.

"Do your parents even know I exist?" Mike counters, trying to steer the conversation away from his family and focus on hers.

"Yes. I called my mom a couple days ago. I assume she told my dad." Paige says lightly, "They think we met in Vegas and got married in a drunken weekend."

"Wait so up until this week they'd never even heard of me?" Mike demands, "They think I'm some stranger?"

"Don't take it personally, I hardly ever talk to them about anything real. They think I'm a wild child. The daughter they know would go to Vegas and get married on a whim." Paige rolls her eyes at Mike's sensitivity. "Yet, I'm surprised your mom would think you would do anything so stupid."

Mike takes a deep breath and bites his tongue.

"What?" Paige asks, realizing there's more he hasn't told her.

"Ok, I kind of never told her we broke up. I mentioned once we were having a rough patch, but it just never seemed like a good time to tell her we were done. So in her mind, we've been dating for over a year. She's actually been after me to propose for a while now." Mike gives up the last of his dignity with this information.

He hopes Paige doesn't take it the wrong way, like he's not over her or something. He just lies to his mom all the time for work, and he didn't see the harm in saying he was in a relationship if it kept his mom from trying to fix him up all the time and worrying. At first, he'd assumed him and Paige would work things out, as time went on, it just seemed easier to keep up the lie. It wasn't like he expected his mom to ever meet Paige.

"When did you tell her we were in the rough patch?" Paige's voice is soft, and a little insecure as she asks him.

"It doesn't matter." Mike says, wishing he never said anything.

"It does." Paige says, her voice firm before she adds, "I need to know when if our stories are going to match up."

Mike senses this second part is a lie. He knows her, what she's asking. She's asking at what point he finally gave up on her. It wasn't like that though... His mom had just caught him at a bad moment.

"I don't remember." Mike lied, "Sometime before I went down to Solano's ranch."

He remembers exactly when. It was right after he'd told her about the foxhunting story. His mom had called and he couldn't keep the emotion from his voice. She'd known something was wrong, and Mike had told her him and Paige had had a fight, but not what about. He told her that he wasn't sure they were going to make it.

Paige curls up in her seat and stares out the window, processing this information. Mike reaches over and gently lays a hand on her leg, a surprisingly intimate move, considering there's no audience.

"Hey… You don't have to come to Christmas if you don't want to." He says gently, trying to get her out of her own head.

"No, I'll come. I'd love to meet Mama Warren." Paige says, turning back to him and putting on a smile. "But if we're doing Christmas with your family, you know that means Thanksgiving is with mine."

"I get to meet your family?" Mike says, surprised how pleasing/terrifying that idea is to him. He'd always wondered about her childhood.

"It's only fair." She says, lacing her fingers through his hand that's on her lap. Mike looks down at their entwined hands. This is so confusing for him. He knows in his head that this is all a show, that they're not really together, but at the same time, it feels real. The line between fact and fiction was always blurred in their jobs and now it was blurred in their personal life as well.

"We're here." Paige says, as the gps tells them they're arriving at their destination on the right.


	7. The Funky Pinto

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. I love reading them. They seriously make my day.

* * *

"This is the surprise?" Mike asks, as Paige pulls out her ID to hand to the bouncer and Mike follows suit. He's trying to figure out if there's some significance he's missing here. He reads the bar name aloud, "The Funky Pinto?"

"Yep." Paige chirps.

"It's a bar." Mike says, staring at the place that's a bit of a dive.

"Yeah."

"Fill me in. Am I helping you with a case here?" Mike looks around as the two of them wait in line for the bouncer at the door. There doesn't seem to be anything particularly exciting about this particular bar. Fairly normal looking clientele. Normal decor, except it looks like it hasn't really been updated since the 70's.

"No, we're off the clock." Paige says as she hands the bouncer her ID.

"Why would we drive forty minutes for a bar? There's like a dozen within walking distance of the house." Mike asks, still confused, and he's going to sound like an asshat for being unimpressed with her choice for date night if there's some big romantic story behind it.

The bouncer hands Mike back his ID, but doesn't let him pass. Mike wonders if there's a cover.

"Keys?" The bouncer prompts.

"What?" Mike stares at him blankly.

"Keys." The bouncer repeats, holding out his hand for Mike's car keys.

"No man, I'm good. I'm not planning on drinking too much tonight. I'll be good to drive." Mike explains.

"No keys, no entrance." The bouncer says simply.

"Mike, give the man your keys. You'll get them back." Paige says impatiently. Mike stares at her questioningly, but gives into the peer pressure and hands the man his keys, feeling suddenly trapped in the building without them.

"Have a good time." The bouncer says in a bored voice, dropping Mike's keys into a glass fishbowl with others.

"Come on." Paige laces her fingers with Mike's and drags him along across the disco lit dance floor to the bar.

"What kind of bar is this that they take my keys as the admission?" Mike grumbles as he stares back over his shoulder, watching another couple enter and the bouncer take the man's keys.

"Come on. I need a drink." Paige says, tugging him along.

Mike follows her to the bar, wondering if the bartender is going to take his watch or something as payment. Paige orders two Tom Collins and sits back on the stool smiling happily at Mike as she raises her glass to clink against his. "Cheers."

Mike begins to relax a little as he takes in the decor. The place wasn't fancy, the disco ball in the center of the dance floor was clearly the highest opulence it reached. He looks over at Paige who looks a little on guard but fairly happy. This is technically their first date. He should stop being so crabby about his keys and try to enjoy it. He sips his drink, not his usual order, but not bad and then turns around on the bar stool to face her.

"So this is what? A 70's theme bar or something?" Mike asks her over the loud music.

"Yeah! Groovy right?" She teases him.

"Have you been here before?" Mike asks, still trying to figure out why they're here. It's not a bad bar, once you get used to the key thing, a little kitschy, but not necessarily worth the drive all the way across town.

"Nope!" Paige says, looking around the room at the clientele. "What do you think?"

"It's not what I expected." Mike answers honestly, looking around.

The place wasn't packed, but it wasn't empty either. Mike bristled a little as he saw the man in the corner who was unabashedly staring at Paige. Obviously Mike was used to men staring at her, if he was honest most the men in the bar were, she was gorgeous, but the guy could at least try to be a little less obvious.

Mike adjusts himself on the barstool, and sets his arm on the back of Paige's chair in a move he hopes marks his territory while remaining casual enough that Paige doesn't notice he's claiming her. She glances down at his arm and back up at him with a slightly curious look, but she doesn't say anything.

"You're right. This is nice to get away from the house for a bit." Mike says, but it's hard to carry on a conversation with her when her eyes are wandering as she scopes out the bar. "How was your week?"

"My week was fine. That brunette in the corner's cute. Great legs." Paige says, gesturing over his shoulder.

"Yeah, she's ok. So your week was good? Last time we talked you said the new intern at HQ was giving you problems." Mike barely glances over his shoulder at the woman who's distracting Paige.

"Yeah, that all got sorted out." Paige says distractedly, before smiling knowingly and pointing over to a corner, "Tits McGee over there has not taken her eyes off you since we got here."

"Well if she's paying any attention at all, she should realize I'm already married." Mike says playfully, leaning in to give her a quick reassuring kiss on the lips. His roommates aren't around, but he feels like this should still count as public displays of affection for their marriage cover. There were people around.

"Of course she does. Everyone's married here." Paige pulls away from the kiss laughing.

"What do you mean everyone's married here?" Mike gets that feeling of panic again that he first had when the bouncer took his keys, looking around frantically to realize that everyone in the bar is indeed wearing a wedding ring. Fearing he already knows the answer, but not wanting to believe it, he asks in a nervous voice. "Paige, what kind of bar is this?"

"Calm down. It's just a bar." Paige rolls her eyes and sips her drink.

"Paige, why are we here?" Mike repeats the question.

"It's just they throw events, and it's swinging Saturday."

"Wait... Swinging Saturday." Mike remembers seeing it on a poster here, but didn't think much of it, his mind is rapidly putting it together, "Swinging as in _swinging_?! Like seventies swinging?!"

"Don't worry. It's very discreet and really selective about their patrons." Paige says, trying to calm him down.

"Is that why they took my keys?! You brought me to a key party?!" Mike demands, the movie The Ice Storm suddenly popping into his head.

"You'll get them back. It's just an ice breaker..."

"Paige go get my keys. Get my keys right now!" Mike starts shoving her towards the bouncer.

"I can't get them now! The game hasn't started. Look we'll just stay for an hour, and if no one here looks like your type, we'll leave. Just give it a chance." Paige grabs his hand, but he pulls it away.

"Fine. I'll get the keys." Mike storms past her, determined to get out of this bar as soon as possible.

"You can't! Mike! Just listen to me." Paige grabs his arm again to stop him. "If you would just-"

"I can. I'll wait for you in the car." Mike says, shaking her off his arm and storming for the bouncer.

"I'll get your keys for you love." A woman with short curly red hair steps in front of him, putting her hand on his chest.

"I'm sorry, there's been a misunderstanding." Mike says through gritted teeth, just wanting to get the hell out of this building.

"Aw, I'm sorry to here that. Why don't you buy me a drink and tell me all about it?" The woman purrs at him.

"Excuse me, could I just get one moment alone with-" Paige catches up with Mike, and politely asks the woman for a moment, but she's cut off.

"No. You had your turn girly, and apparently you blew it. Time to give another girl a go." The girl acknowledges Paige dismissively, her eyes never leaving Mike, who is staring over her head at the door, trying to keep his temper in check..

"No, you don't understand." Paige says with a rye laugh, trying to get this woman to understand she wasn't trying to keep her from scoring with Mike, "It's not like that. I just need to talk to him real quick. He's my husband, just give me-"

"Not tonight he's not, newbie." The woman takes Paige off guard by turning on her quickly, "I know your type. You're the type who will have a few martini's with your sorority sisters and drunkenly give them a peck on the lips and call yourself bisexual. You're not here to fuck, just to let your husband fantasize before taking you home for some lights off missionary. It's just a game to you to get you in the mood. But at this bar, it's only serious swingers. Don't come if you can't follow through. So go find someone else to talk to before I rip your pretty little hair out."

"Walk away. Now." Paige pulls herself up to her full height, with a pissed off grin, stepping forward in a challenging manner to the petite red head. Mike groans, this woman really didn't know who she was messing with, but Mike does. Mike steps between them trying to diffuse the situation.

"Listen, we're just going to go..." Mike says in what he hopes is a calming voice.

"Aw, leaving so soon? What's the rush? The night is young." A young drunken man walks cockily up to them, totally oblivious to the cat fight that may break out, and grabs Paige's hand to kiss the back of it. "Hello beautiful, I'm Don. Why don't we give Jenny here some time alone with this guy? I guarantee he'll enjoy it."

"Don't touch her." Mike growls possessively, shoving Don with his right hand away from Paige. Mike is pissed and looking for a fight, and he's not above beating the shit out of this drunken loser.

"I'm just being friendly." Don says, holding his hands up to Mike in surrender, "C'mon dude, it's all good. Just because you two came together doesn't mean you need to leave together."

"Yeah sweetie, let's go dance. I'm sure we can find some way to release all that tension you're carrying." The girl purrs.

"Come on beautiful, let me buy you a drink. I promise to keep my hands to myself." Don says to Paige. "One quick drink while everyone calms down."

Paige's eyes drift up to Mike's looking for something. Mike stares back at her, waiting for her decision. Paige gives him a small nod and a forced smile and then turns back to Don and says roboticly, "Sure. One drink."

Mike feels like he's just been stabbed in the chest. The fight goes out of him as the redhead grabs his hand and starts pulling him away towards the dance floor. He allows her to drag him along, but his eyes follow Paige as Don leads her back towards the bar with a gentle hand on the small of her back.

Jesus this hurts more than he thought it would. He didn't know what he was expecting when they got married. The rational side of him knew she would date again, but he didn't realize it would hurt this much. He finally looks away from her, and numbly follows the small woman who's leading him, chatting away. Once she gets him to the dance floor, she turns to him, her hands coming to his hips, rubbing her body against his in beat to the music. He's lost in his own thoughts, but feeling her hand wrap around the back of his neck, one of Paige's favorite spots to grab when he kissed her, it suddenly all overwhelms him. It feels wrong, and he needs to get out of here. He'll wait in the car for Paige. Or let Don drive her home in the morning. He doesn't know he just knows he needs to get out of here.

He looks down, prepared to apologize to the petite red head and excuse himself, when suddenly a hand grabs his arm from behind and he's shoved to the side so hard he almost falls over. Mike regains his balance in just enough time to see a blonde flash of hair fly by him, as Paige shoves him out of the way and charges the other woman.

"Keep your trashy hands off my husband bitch!" Paige delivers one quick punch, straight to the girl's face and the girl is on the ground, leaving Mike gaping in shock at the blonde woman left standing over her, shaking in anger.


	8. A Tentative Truce

Author's Note: I'm glad everyone seemed on board with Paige punching the girl, because that almost didn't make it into the chapter.

* * *

The car ride back was tense and silent.

Obviously, they'd been thrown out and banned from the club on the spot after Paige's punch.

Mike is fuming. He can't believe Paige would put him in that situation. Actually, he can believe it and that may be a part of why he's so pissed. She was always doing this, throwing him at other women, and he didn't understand. He didn't care if they were married or broken up, no matter what, the thought of Paige with another man would always bother him and he would certainly never try to orchestrate it. Yet from the second he met her, she'd been throwing other women at him. He thought that might end once they'd dated, but then she'd thrown him at Jess while they were dating and now this?

He didn't even know what to make of the fact that Paige had nearly started a bar brawl. Yes, the girl kind of had it coming, and quite frankly Mike was surprised Paige didn't hit her sooner, but the flying sucker punch that came out of nowhere was unexpected. The whole thing escalated so quickly that it took both Mike and the bouncer to drag her out of there.

Mike throws a glance over at her and catches her staring out the window rubbing her knuckles. He hopes she didn't break it on the woman's jaw. His worry for her safety briefly overcomes his anger at her.

"How's your hand?" Mike finally asks gruffly, breaking the silence.

"Oh so we're speaking now?" She asks sarcastically, quickly stopping stroking her hand and tucking both her hands under her arms. "You want to tell me what happened back there?"

"Do you want to tell me?!" Mike demands, "What were we even doing there, Paige?"

"I thought we were going out to a bar to have a few drinks and possibly get you laid. Y'know, like we used to do. I was just trying to get things back to normal." Paige defends herself.

"There is nothing normal about this!" Mike insists, "Did you even think about what it would do to my reputation if I'm caught in a swingers bar?"

"It was very discreet-"

"I DON'T CARE!" Mike cuts off her excuses, "Look, like it or not, we're married now. So if you want to screw around on the side at least have the decency to try to be discreet about it and not parade it in my fucking face."

"That wasn't me trying to-" Paige once again tries to talk but is cut off by Mike's yelling.

"Then what?! What were you trying to do?" Mike demands.

"I thought you-"

"You thought I what? You thought I would be ok with it? That I would want to go pick up another married couple with you? How does that work exactly? Is it one big free for all? Do we take turns, or does one of us just watch?" Mike demands cruelly.

"No! I wasn't thinking-"

"No shit you weren't thinking!" Mike interrupts yet again, "I mean what possibly made you think this was a good idea?"

"Could you just let me talk?!" Paige finally screams back at him, "Look, I was worried about what you said the other morning, after I caught you in the shower. I meant what I said Mike. I don't expect you to be celibate. I know you're giving up a lot for me with this marriage, and... Mike, I just wanted to show you we could make this work. That you didn't have to sacrifice everything. Clearly, I should have talked to you about it first."

Mike sits and stews in her words for a moment. This was not his fault, and her implying she was doing him a favor pisses him off even more. He never asked her for this. There was a whole world of difference between him taking care of himself and going out and finding strangers to get laid. He didn't need that. Obviously she did.

"I don't want to watch you date other men!" Mike says the words in a rush as he stares straight ahead at the road, his foot pressing down on the gas. "I know you're going to. I just don't want to watch. And yes, I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. No, you know what? That's a lie. It should bother me, and it should bother you too. What the fuck, Paige? What do you want? You want us to go out on double dates and go home with other people? You think that's normal?"

"Don't make me out to be some weirdo here! It's not like you haven't drug me on double dates before." Paige says defensively, "Remember Abby?"

"Woah. Hold on." Mike holds up his hand to her, not able to believe she was using this as an argument, "First of all, we were just friends at the time, and Abby wanted to hang out with you…"

"Yeah. To size me up as competition." Paige scoffs.

"No. She just wanted to… wait was that what she was doing?" Mike asks, surprised at this new light. Girls were so devious. He didn't understand women. Any of them. Especially not Paige.

"Obviously! You didn't know? Why do you think I brought Vance?" Paige laughs back that he didn't know.

"I thought you were just being a dick!"

"I was trying to be less threatening and show her that we were just friends and that I had zero interest in you." Paige argues back at him. Mike sits there and contemplates this rewriting of history. He remembers that date. At the time, he had been infuriated Paige had brought a low level drug dealer along... then something else she said catches his attention.

"You weren't interested in me? _At all_? Like not even curious?" Mike calls her out, offended. True, they weren't dating at the time, but he remembers feeling a spark that he didn't think was totally one sided.

"Well… Maybe a little. So I guess Abby wasn't wrong..." Paige grins at the memory. She turns to him smugly, "You married me though, so looks like I won after all…"

"I hardly think _this_ counts as winning," Mike scoffs, calming down, but still very aware they were in a fight, "and technically I went home with Abby that night."

"Yeah, but tell me it wasn't _me_ you were thinking of that night." Paige takes him off guard as she straight up calls him out.

"Well… Maybe a little." Mike throws her words back at her with a small guilty smile at the memory.

A moment passes as they both are trapped in their thoughts. The argument has at least cooled down to the point where Mike feels like he can think again, rather than just irrationally scream at her. Clearing his throat, he carefully searches for the right words to voice his concerns, without starting another fight.

"Look, I know the arrangement we have is unsustainable. I know you're going to eventually want to date someone, but can we just agree not to date other people while we're still figuring this out? I mean, I'm still adjusting to our new situation. It's complicated enough without adding other people to the equation." Mike rubs the back of his neck, knowing that he has no right to demand fidelity at this point, but asking her anyways.

"Ok." Paige agrees quickly, "For right now, we'll press pause on dating other people. You're right. It's probably too soon."

"Maybe we can talk about it again after the holidays..." Mike says, wanting to let her know he would find a way to be ok with this some day.

"Yeah, after new years." Paige agrees, "But Mike, if you find someone before that, I'll understand. Just, do me a favor and find someone better than that stuck up bitch back there."

"Ok. New Years. And no more secrets." Mike says, dreading the next year already. "And no more punching people... Though I've got to admit, that was a hell of a punch."

"She asked for it." Paige mutters, examining her bruised knuckles, "Bitch."

The rest of the drive is silent, but not uncomfortably so. Both agents take the time to calm down from the adrenaline of the screaming match that just took place in the small car. Finally, Mike parks the car in the garage at Graceland.

"I'm sorry about tonight." Paige's voice finally says softly as Mike turns off the car.

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted." Mike sighs as he sits back in the seat and runs his hands back through his hair. "We're home early. What are we going to tell Johnny?"


	9. Pre-Collision Safety

Author's Notes: I try to make my writing as much like the tv show as possible, so therefore, this chapter is a car commercial. (Because I find it funny)

As for any comments of any recent twitter posts or news... I'm still collecting my thoughts on that.

* * *

"We're home early. What are we going to tell Johnny?" Mike asks, glad that the fight seems to be over, though it's going to still take him a while to cool off. The adrenaline is still singing in his veins, but he can feel his blood pressure and temper slowly beginning to lower.

"What do you mean?" Paige asks.

"Well we're supposed to be out on our date night and we're home at eight o'clock. We can't tell him the real reason we called the night short and came home early, so what should our fight be about?" Mike asks.

"Who said we have to be fighting?" She asks.

"We left at seven, we were barely gone over an hour." Mike points out, "He's going to know something went wrong."

"I'm just saying there are other reasons…" Paige puts her hand purposefully on Mike's thigh and rubs it up and down so he gets her point, "... other reasons we might come home early."

Mike glances down at her hand on his thigh and considers her proposition for a moment. He knows what she's suggesting, and he knows she's serious. He runs it over possible outcomes and plans in his head. It was a dangerous game she was suggesting.

He thinks back to how empty their wedding night had left him feeling. How worked up he'd felt after their fake morning romp together. He knew this was a dangerous slope that could lead to nothing but him longing for what he couldn't have, but his blood is still thrumming from the fight, and he's feeling more bold than normal. A part of him, a dark part wants to punish her. To take her to the edge and then back off, leaving her wanting for once. To remind her of what it was she was trying to give away at the bar. The only problem is, if he takes her to that edge, there's no guarantee he won't fall over it himself.

He shouldn't do this. There are other excuses.

And yet...

"Ok." Mike says gruffly.

Before Paige even has a chance to process his words, he's out of the car and walked around to her side of the car. Paige gets out as well, but before she can say another word, Mike opens her car door and pushes her flush against the side of Mike's Toyota Camry.

The surprise more than the car knocks the air out of her. She expected him to hesitate. She didn't expect him to take control in this way, and for a moment she wonders if she made a mistake in this suggestion. Mike glances around the empty garage for his roommates, but seeing no one, turns his piercing gaze back to Paige.

"So if we're not fighting... what's our story?" Mike says, his voice husky as he leans in close, pinning her against the car.

"We were out to dinner and you kept saying how nice I looked..." She was at first taken off guard by his dominate move, but she quickly recovers from the shock. She can play this game...

"No, I didn't say nice. I said you looked fucking incredible." Mike corrects her and leans in close to whisper in her ear, "Which you do by the way."

"Mmm..." She moans softly, arching against his car behind her as she feels his breath in her ear, "When you pulled out my seat for me, you copped a feel when the waiter wasn't looking."

"At the restaurant, you couldn't stay on your side." Mike murmers, as the two of them rewrite the story of the evening, his fingertips trace lightly up and down her thigh, "You kept teasing me under the table. Your foot kept sliding up my leg."

"The waiter filled my glass of wine too full and I spilled a little on my fingers..." She says in a seductive voice, looking up at him from under long lashes.

"Mmmm... Yes, I remember. Here." Mike says, bringing her hand up to his lips to kiss her palm and down her wrist, following the invisible trail of spilled wine. He can almost feel her pulse racing under his lips, and it spurs him on to add in a soft voice, "You spilled here too..."

With those words he leans down and gently brushes his lips across the top of her breast right above the collar of her low cut, button-down dress. She gasps, her finger coming to the back of his neck and gripping him in surprise. Mike grins against her skin at her reaction as he feels her nails digging into his neck, leaving small crescent moons indents on his skin.

"I could barely make it through dinner." Paige gasps as his lips teased her, nipping at her collar bone, "When the waiter asked if we wanted dessert, I said I had something better at home. You just left money on the table. You couldn't wait for the check."

"I rushed you out of there, and almost swerved off the road trying to get you home." Mike agrees, trailing his lips up her neck to her ear. "It's a good thing my Toyota has that pre-collision safety system..."

Advanced automobile safety features have never sounded so sexy.

"It's a miracle we got home alive." Paige agrees her voice breathless, her lips now a mere inch away from Mike's.

"And now here we are..." Mike stares down at her lips, his arms caging her in against his car, waiting for her to tell him how this story is going to end.

"Here we are..." Paige sounds just as lustful as Mike, her breath ghosting over his lips, knowing he expects her to make the next move. Instead of pressing her lips to his, she ups the ante even more, "You had my panties off before we even walked through the door."

She brings her fingers under her dress and slides the lacy material down her long legs, stepping out of them and holding them dangling from one finger, giving him a smug smile. Mike's looking down at her, gaping for air, like he may drown if he doesn't kiss her soon.

"And then we-" Paige begins to continue the narrative, seeing as Mike's lost his powers of speech, but then his lips are on hers before she can say another word.

He kisses her desperately pushing her up against the car door. His hands are roaming everywhere. She responds to his heat with her own fire, kissing him back just as passionately. It had been so long, too long, since they were like this. This was the beginning of the makeup sex of a thousand unresolved arguments. This was the beginning of the end, or maybe it was really the end of the beginning as their bodies pushed towards some new unknown future.

The sound of their lips against the others, the sounds of their involuntary moans, echo through the garage. Paige's hands come up to hold Mike's face even closer, and Mike grabs the lace in her hand and throws it somewhere behind him. The scrap of fabric lands obscenely on the windshield of Jake's car, but neither of the agents notice.

Mike begins to try to walk backwards, in the vague direction of the house, without letting go of her. She follows him, and the two bump against cars, and trip over steps as they work their way clumsily towards the entrance of the house. When they reach the door, Mike finally has to pull away for air and to enter the code.

Paige's lips nip at his neck right below his ear, making him punch in the wrong code and have to start over.

"Do you think you can sell this?" She taunts in his ear, her hand slipping into his back pocket and giving him a squeeze.

Mike finally gets the code on the third attempt and opens the door triumphantly. He then immediately reaches down and rips open her dress so the buttons fly and the fabric hangs loosely baring her bra and tan stomach, only the bottom of which is still in tact. He grabs her hips and pulls her back flush against him.

"Realistic enough for you?" He asks, but claims her mouth in a deep kiss before she can answer. The two stumble into the house, trying to kiss and grab each other as much as possible as they nearly fall in the fountain.

"Mike. Bedroom." She groans as his hands slip down below the skirt of her waist. She tries to guide him back towards the stairs.

"You said you wanted it in the kitchen." Mike growls against her lips.

Her eyes widen momentarily and Mike stares at her. His eyes glazed. His head fogged by lust. While normally Mike would be all for moving this to a more private location, he suspects the second they enter a bedroom the show will be over. If he can keep her in a public area, he can keep up the ruse. He can continue pretending the only reason he wants her lips on his is to keep his roommates from getting suspicious.

Anything he does now is part of the show. He can kiss her, hold her, tell her he loves her, and it's all done under the guise of deceit. It's like his fingers are crossed behind his back with every swipe of his tongue between her lips. He begins to wonder how far she'll let him push the line. If she'll let him do anything and everything he wants to her so long as she can justify it as part of the show. She allows him to walk her backwards towards the kitchen, but suddenly she grabs the collar of his shirt and yanks it to the side, steering their bodies to the right.

"This is closer." She says, detouring them to the side in the living room.

He assumes they're going for the couch, but she backs him up to the coffee table and when the back of his knees hit it, she keeps going. Pushing him back, magazines and coasters are shoved to the floor as Mike lies on the . She straddles his jean clad hips, yanking at his shirt which he quickly removes and throws across the room before pulling her lips back down to meet his. They kiss frantically, all the anger from earlier needing to be released as they both desperately claw at the other.

She's so close, but his jeans still separate them and in one quick move Mike pulls her close to his body and then flips her over so now she's on her back on the table. He comes back over her, caging her in against the table, devouring her as she writhes underneath him. He can feel her fingernails dig into his back, and he lets out an almost inhuman howl, biting down on her neck to give her the same pleasure/pain he's receiving. His hips buck against hers, her skirt inching up dangerously high on her hips as he rocks against her.

He needs more, and the angle of the coffee table lets him rock back onto his knees so he's kneeling on the floor between her legs. Her hands reach for his belt buckle, but his are even swifter as he loses his belt and quickly undoes his pants. In one fluid motion he brings himself back up over top of her, his lips connecting to hers, as he pushes his pants back to his ankles, positioning himself between her thighs which she readily wraps around him. He can feel her damp as his hardness rubs against her, searching for entry.

There's no turning back now, any thought of show is gone for him. All thoughts are gone for him. The only thought in Mike's mind is he needs her to take him inside her now. Mike doesn't care how much this will change things. He has no concept of past wrongs or future problems. There is only the now and in this moment Paige is his. He rocks his bare sex against hers, searching for entry, needing to feel her heat engulfing him. Her hands are on his back, pulling him closer. Her mouth meets his with a hunger she can't fake.

"Mike, please..." Paige moans softly against his lips.

"Almost there..." Mike assures her as he reaches between them to guide himself inside her.

"WARREN GET YOUR WHITE ASS OFF OF MY COFFEE TABLE!"


End file.
